A dear family friend made a simple comment on her facebook page that turned into the usual; mini commentaries reflecting individual FB user's thoughts. This one had to do with a much needed get away for this couple and ended up with thumbs up or down if they would or should have another kid. They currently have four. Four of the most precious, beautiful, thoughtful, incredible kids I have the pleasure of knowing. BTW, this couple, my friends, are fantastic parents. Really.
Around my 5th pregnancy I gave up apologizing for, well, for being pregnant. By my sixth, I knew I was at my limit and that is where I stopped. Yes, I know what caused it. Yes, I have six kids. No, I am not Mormon or Catholic. Yada, Yada, Yada. I have heard all the stupid, inconsiderate, otherwise thoughtless comments that could possibly be said. And when I witness another woman endure the same idiocy, I just want to jump in and punch the person inflicting pain on the poor woman (or, I guess it could happen to the dad too...).
For those of you who know my little (well, you know) family, can you imagine your life---my life, our lives if I had stopped after one? Or even not had the first one? I was a young, single pregnant girl. I was offered to give the pregnancy up for adoption ("There are so many people wanting a child who can't,"), or even terminating (which, personally was not an option for me). Can any of you imagine our lives without Brianna? She single handedly (albeit, a teeny, little baby hand) changed my life---as well as many of your lives. We wouldn't have Matt, or his blessed family, or all of Brianna's dear friends whom I think of a nearly my own. Our lives would be very different, wouldn't you agree?
Or Seth. What if I had stopped after Brianna and didn't have Seth? Good Lord! That man has enriched my life in ways I can't even find words for. Kind, protective, thoughtful, loving, SMART, a tremendous friend, tenacious, a true leader, gorgeous, ...and on and on.
What if I stopped with the recommended simple replication of a couple ("You have a perfect family! One boy and one girl now!")? Samuel, which means, "God has heard," has done nothing but make me smile and laugh since he came around. From being a perfect baby, to a constant laughing kiddo, to a little boy who set and achieved so many goals. Since the time he was three or four he knew he liked pretty, blonde women and would cater to them at every opportunity, including church. ("Can I get you a brochure? A drink of water?"). And how about when he discovered his little blue blazer with the red crest on the breast when he was six or so and he declared, "When I grow up, I am going to have a desk, a phone and a secretary."
Think about Valerie... and about Selah and Asa. What if I had stopped at three kids, or even four? Can any of you who have known us imagine who we would be without Valerie's infectious laugh and generosity, and her faithfulness? Or Asa's statements and ideology. Or Selah's stupid singing / syncing to pop songs, and the faces she makes--- or her snorting laughter. And even when stopping to think about all of that, there is so much more than just their personalities---or even the impact that they have on this world. I think about the years of nights (or afternoons) that the couch or my bed was filled with kids on either side of me as we read stories. Or meals, or grocery shopping, or 'field trips' as a family. As I think about removing any aspect of who they are from my life, well, I shudder at the thought.
A friend's mother said something profound to me one evening. I had just started as an RN, was working the night shift when another nurse who I later discovered was my best friend from high school's mom. She had overheard me answering someone about, "Yes, I am pregnant. Yes, this is my sixth child." She approached me and said, "You know I have two kids. I wanted more, but I ended up getting divorced and, well, it just didn't happen that way. I always wanted more. You know, I have never heard someone who had a lot of kids ever say they regretted it. But I have heard many people who, like me, only had a couple, regret not having more. Don't ever apologize for having a lot of kids. You are a wonderful mom and you have wonderful kids. Ignore the stupid people."
My oldest child is 30. My youngest is 14. I have six people who call me, "Marmie." My children are absolutely incredible people. They are six of the nicest, most thoughtful, godly, kind, generous, beautiful, considerate, intelligent, wise people I have ever known. I know that if I have done one thing right in this life, it was to be their mother. They are six souls that have made the lives of those they've touched, a better, more incredible place. I am so, so, so glad I had six children. I am so glad I had these six children.
